Where's my tie?
by romanticidiot
Summary: Slash. SiriusRemus. One shot. Remus is frazzled over exams and can't find his tie. Sirius watches gleefully until the tie is just too much ...


DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine. None even the idea is mine 'cos it was inspired by a picture I saw.

WARNING: Yes, slashyness is ensuing. Go away if you don't like slash.

_**Where's My Tie?**_

_**By**_

_**Elizabeth Tears**_

It was an extremely rare sight to see Remus Lupin frazzled and flustered.

But on that afternoon, that was exactly what he was and quite frankly, Sirius Black was enjoying it. He was beginning to understand why Remus so often lay in the same position and watched James, Peter or more often Sirius ran around and made themselves halfway presentable; it was highly amusing.

At this moment in time, however, placid Remus was doing a fairly good imitation of Sirius and the other Marauders as he ran around the dormitories like a man possessed. He stopped occasionally and muttered things like, 'If _only_ we had done seeking charms _after _that incident with the memory abolition spell, I remember _nothing_ from that month' and 'If I didn't know better, I'd say the house elves are out to get me.'

Which was a good indication of how very far gone in scrambled insanity he really was, because Remus was an avid supporter of Elvish Rights and would become a supporter of a certain bushy haired Gryffindor far, far into the future. Of course, he didn't know that yet and I think it would mess with his head if anyone told him.

So to get back to the plot, Sirius was watching Remus lazily from the other's bed (because where else would he be sitting?) as said werewolf flittered from one end of the dormitory to the other, searching for an allusive article of clothing.

"_Sure _you don't know where it is, Padfoot?" Remus demanded again, looking up through the front locks of his hair as he took a moment from his frantic searching to plead with his friend.

"_Quite_ sure, Moony." Sirius replied, fighting a grin and fought like hell to stop his eyes straying to the article dangling from Remus' collar. The thought didn't register with him that although Remus watched his friend's discomfort with delight when it was their turn, he never held out on them.

"You'd tell me if you did, though, wouldn't you?" Remus asked in agitation, and Sirius found himself getting quite warm.

"Of course, Remus!" He exclaimed, feigning offence.

"Just checking, Sirius." Remus said hastily, giving him a queer look.

Not queer in that _other_ way, but in the purely old English queer way that meant weird.

"Right." Sirius agreed. "Sorry."

And so the frantic tussle continued.

Socks were thrown, shoes were chucked, clothes were flung up over bedposts and certain friends in the room.

"Where in _purgatory_ is it?" Remus growled in frustration and found that there were tears of annoyance springing into his eyes.

Sirius was finding it very hard to keep himself sitting nonchalantly on the bed when Remus was looking … scarily sexy in all of his frazzled domesticity.

_It has to be the exams,_ Sirius decided awkwardly. _Remus is on edge because he hasn't slept properly in a week, and is studying from the moment he gets up till he sleeps and I'm … well I'm just worn out watching him … right?_

"Padfoot." Remus said, stopping suddenly and looking at him slowly. "I am going to ask you one last time." He paced his words carefully, speaking slowly. "Do you know where my tie is?"

Sirius gulped as Remus advanced on him, a predatory glint in his eyes.

"I – I told you." He stuttered. "I don't know."

"Sure, Sirius? 'Cos you keep looking at me and I can only assume it's because you know where my tie is and you're not telling me."

"I …" He was going to deny it all over again, but Remus was really close now and Sirius was at a decided disadvantage. "You're wearing it." He blurted out, his cheeks flushing.

Remus gave him a quirk of the eyebrow and looked down at himself.

"Oh, so I am." He said and mild, calm, even-tempered Remus was back. "Thanks for the heads up, Padfoot."

"Sure." Sirius said faintly and then began to notice how very red Remus' tie was against his white school shirt. He also began to notice how very _loose_ Remus' shirt was, and he could see right through the button holes to … and suddenly the tie wasn't all that interesting, but grabbing onto it and yanking Remus down with no time to argue was.

Very important.

Very, very important.

So important that he actually managed to do just that, pulling his frazzled friend down to meet his lying lips. The tie wasn't released from Sirius' grasp until he was sure Remus wasn't going to pull away. And when he did release him, it was only to grab onto his collar and pull him even _closer_ than the tie would allow.

"You didn't have to lie to me to get me near you, you know." Remus murmured against his mouth.

"Actually, I didn't know that." Sirius told him.

"You should have." Remus admonished. "Why the hell do you think I wore a semi open shirt, placed myself at your disposal, tousled my hair and made myself look as irresistible as I could?"

"Mm, because you couldn't find your tie?" Sirius asked.

"That." Remus agreed. "And a tie is an extraordinarily good piece of clothing to initiate a kiss, you know."

"Can't say I knew that before." Sirius said mildly, but grabbed onto said article again.

"Now you know." Remus told him just before their lips met again in another tie-induced kiss.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

You should all be very grateful for this. I am doing Year 12 and I should really be doing one of my 3 assignments but instead I wrote this, which means I'm not going to sleep until 11 o'clock tonight. So anyway, thanks be-eth to all who reviewed 'Parchment'. Isn't that an extraordinarily terrible name? Can somebody think of a better one for me? Please?

Anyway, special thanks to Sanguisiphiliac (one day I will get that right, I swear) for the comments. I could sit here and explain all the reasons why it was bad but I won't. I will just say that Sirius' letter was passionate and immature and all that 'cos he was just writing down his feelings. Nobody (well, me anyway) makes much sense or thinks about propriety when they write their thoughts down. But that's just me defending myself! You probably were right about everything, so thanks!

And to the reviewer whose name I can't remember – I went looking for the live journal you suggested and found myself looking at all the pictures instead of reading the stories. My favourite – I don't know if you've seen it – is the moving pictures of Harry and Remus. It goes like this, for all those who haven't seen it.

PICTURE OF HARRY: You're a werewolf?

PICTURE OF REMUS: Yes

PICTURE OF HARRY: Are you fucking serious? (I add the comment of thinking pun there)

PICTURE OF REMUS: Yes, that too.

PICTURE OF HARRY: What?

PICTURE OF REMUS: Oops, too much information.

How hilarious is that? It's got me going again! Thanks to all once again!

LizzY


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